I'm really confused... First you complain that the freshman didn't come to you on your hall to talk about diversity, and then you say that you hate it when random white people come up to talk to you. Which is it?
Thanks for calling that out. It does seem very contradictory right next to each other and it was something that someone has already asked me about.
To make it simple, it's both.
To complicate it a bit: I was calling out the freshman on diversity, because based on this interaction that I had with him, sharing a living space with people of color as a white person is supposed foster some greater connection across difference, across race. However, despite the fact that we did occupy the same living space, he failed to utilize our living space in a way that would help bridge differences in that multicultural way that would bring diversity and understanding.
Having random white people come up and talk to me and having a white person in my hall trying to build a relationship, bridge whatever you want to call it are two entirely different things. To be completely honest, both situations annoy me. But the more problematic one is the former. Aside from the fact that it is rude to interupt people without their consent, what really bothers me is the assumption of my instant access and availability. Contrary to popular belief, there are other things higher on my priority list than interfacing with curious, well-meaning white people who are interested in their dose of diversity for the day. And as a Black womyn increasingly aware of her past while keenly aware of the present, I am very conscious of how instantly accessible and available Black women are and have been in American society (NOTE: I'm thinking of slavery. I'm thinking how raping Black women was not considered a crime, through the mid 20th century, because of assumed access and availability). To get a clue on how these interruptions and assumptions leave me feeling, see Alysha's video on The Ethnic Spectacle. It annoys me when random white people try to talk with me, with no context or preface, because not only does me fulfilling that role support their whiteness as central to the universe, but it simultaneously constructs myself, my needs, my desire and my being as peripheral in a way that is detrimental to me. So if I am going to have a conversation with a white person, random or not, about anything, it needs to be on my terms, and in a way that my interests and well-being can remain central to the purpose of the discussion, in a way that I see fit. And I do not care for the white person who had lost out on the opportunity to learn. I am no one's teacher and I came to college to obtain an education for myself. Not to be an enriching supplement to anyone else's.
The latter situation annoys me because of the whole teaching aspect, but I do believe that given the setting, if I chose to engage, there would be more room for me to claim power in that situation. Whethor it's power to set the parameters of the conversation, because of our shared living space or power to say I do not want to have this conversation, because of our shared living space, it is still power that I can claim as my own and power that is more likely to be recognized and respected by my white hallmate who did not engage in anything at all.
[Which brings me to this last point, diversity (as demonstrated by this white male student) is something where white people just exist and "Ethnic Spectacles" are brought to their doorstep, or shall I say dormstep, where people of color are the only active players.]
And don't be so shy anomynous. I think that it's better to have conversation when we both know who we are talking to.
I'm really confused... First you complain that the freshman didn't come to you on your hall to talk about diversity, and then you say that you hate it when random white people come up to talk to you. Which is it?
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThanks for calling that out. It does seem very contradictory right next to each other and it was something that someone has already asked me about.
To make it simple, it's both.
To complicate it a bit: I was calling out the freshman on diversity, because based on this interaction that I had with him, sharing a living space with people of color as a white person is supposed foster some greater connection across difference, across race. However, despite the fact that we did occupy the same living space, he failed to utilize our living space in a way that would help bridge differences in that multicultural way that would bring diversity and understanding.
Having random white people come up and talk to me and having a white person in my hall trying to build a relationship, bridge whatever you want to call it are two entirely different things. To be completely honest, both situations annoy me. But the more problematic one is the former. Aside from the fact that it is rude to interupt people without their consent, what really bothers me is the assumption of my instant access and availability. Contrary to popular belief, there are other things higher on my priority list than interfacing with curious, well-meaning white people who are interested in their dose of diversity for the day. And as a Black womyn increasingly aware of her past while keenly aware of the present, I am very conscious of how instantly accessible and available Black women are and have been in American society (NOTE: I'm thinking of slavery. I'm thinking how raping Black women was not considered a crime, through the mid 20th century, because of assumed access and availability). To get a clue on how these interruptions and assumptions leave me feeling, see Alysha's video on The Ethnic Spectacle. It annoys me when random white people try to talk with me, with no context or preface, because not only does me fulfilling that role support their whiteness as central to the universe, but it simultaneously constructs myself, my needs, my desire and my being as peripheral in a way that is detrimental to me. So if I am going to have a conversation with a white person, random or not, about anything, it needs to be on my terms, and in a way that my interests and well-being can remain central to the purpose of the discussion, in a way that I see fit. And I do not care for the white person who had lost out on the opportunity to learn. I am no one's teacher and I came to college to obtain an education for myself. Not to be an enriching supplement to anyone else's.
The latter situation annoys me because of the whole teaching aspect, but I do believe that given the setting, if I chose to engage, there would be more room for me to claim power in that situation. Whethor it's power to set the parameters of the conversation, because of our shared living space or power to say I do not want to have this conversation, because of our shared living space, it is still power that I can claim as my own and power that is more likely to be recognized and respected by my white hallmate who did not engage in anything at all.
[Which brings me to this last point, diversity (as demonstrated by this white male student) is something where white people just exist and "Ethnic Spectacles" are brought to their doorstep, or shall I say dormstep, where people of color are the only active players.]
And don't be so shy anomynous. I think that it's better to have conversation when we both know who we are talking to.
SableYork