Continuing Conversations

Here is a conversation with a good friend:

friend: idk if read ur clarification...but ur saying it also bothers you when someone comes up and asks hey have you done the reading for class and what do you think?

me: no. she totally took what i said out of context.

friend: i get what your saying that the poing is to not assume ur access/ availability

me: and well meaning white people like her don't ask me my opinion because 1. they heard it in class already 2. they think that i think that they are racist 3. don't actually care what i mean/think

friend: i think she just needs clarification... like its not about wat you say its about the context... even if it is something as simple as did you do the reading its ok if it's like while waiting to go into class and neither of you are doing anything but is rude if you are for example having a conversation with a friend or look like ur in a rush somewhere cuz that just assumes that wat u r doing is not important/ you are accessable which goes back to your opinions on that and slavery. thats what you're getting at? or am i just as confused as this other chick?

me: yeah, you got it, the assuming thing. in that case, the context doesn't matter because the assumption is still being made. with that said,

friend: yea.. i was gonna say...

me: people can still default to social rules of respect that should govern ppls interacts with each other. which is complicated

friend: even if you don't have the assumption the fact that that is what these people are doing is the assumption you make

me: because ppl obviously have different social rules

friend: idk i think it has to do with context... cuz i dont think its safe to assume that if it is the second situation (the ur busy one) and they come up to u that theyre assuming ur accessible... some people are just actually rude and have no idea about social rules. they may have no problem doing stuff like that to white people as well

me: its not that i am making an assumption about most of the white people that i am interacting with. what i meant before is that there is a social precedent, informed by society, politics, history etc, that is larger than just me or the other white person that creates and reinforces power dynamics that are very pervasive. what i am calling the white person out on is buying into the social precedent, laced with different systems of oppression that places them and their needs in the center and pushes me to the side, just so that they can get what they want and get their needs met. so even if you are totally clueless about social rules and even if you are rude, if you are white, it is has been made okay for you to do so or be like that because of that social precedent.
but if you are of color, then come along a host of sterotypes that will silence you or push you off which is how i read into ann marie's and kate's comments (kate less so)
using the social precedent to their benefit... however, the corollary that comes with it, that their benefit is someway connected to someone's detriment, is never considered because that privilege to not even acknowledge the consequences of buying into this on an individual level, is also wrapped up into this social precedent

friend: kk i c

me: i know that was long... i've been thinking about it for a while

friend: but i get it... even if its not that they always blatantly think you are accessible its that its a social precedent and lifetime of being "more important" just because you are white that causes them subconsciously (and not so subconsciously) that's what's going on. rightish?

me: yeah, totally, i would be surprised if most people had these thoughts on a very conscious level and i think that because they don't, they often don't see themselves implicated in anything having to do with racism, because only the kkk has blatant thoughts like that. thx for pushing me & asking those questions... i needed to articulate that. do you mind if i post this conversation?

friend: haha np... i was just being a pain in the ass cuz i figured you just kept getting posts like this cuz ppl were really understanding where you were getting at since usually ppl dont have these blatant thoughts... so i wanted you to break it down

So So Not About You

This is the Mission Statement of the fabulous vlogger, Alysha P. I am posting it because it's so so relatable. On the hair level, and even beyond... so feel free to extrapolate as to what I might mean.

Enjoy!